


Light of The Present

by waltzalascherzo



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:41:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24826204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waltzalascherzo/pseuds/waltzalascherzo
Summary: The more time she spends with Tifa, the easier it is to sequester these feelings inside, and let them gradually filter out in her smiles and fleeting touches.(She thinks Cloud had it right. Lock the feelings for her in your heart.)
Relationships: Aerith Gainsborough/Tifa Lockhart, Tifa Lockhart/Cloud Strife
Comments: 1
Kudos: 118





	Light of The Present

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the Aerti discord ;)  
> I don't own any of the characters etc. Disclaimer.  
> FF7R and OG spoilers.

Light of the Present

Aerith isn't sure what the first thing the Planet told her was. It had always whispered to her secrets, in tandem with her mother. Sometimes, now, she can't really discern if the voice is her mother of the Planet speaking through her. Probably a bit of both.

In the beginning, it would only show her flashes of things, the sounds of a record skipping and the fuzzy connection of a tv struggling through a poor signal. It would make the Materia tucked in her bow warm and stir until the moment passed. There would be petals falling, blue-green eyes haunting her, giant swords and red-wine colors swirling together to the sound of Materia bouncing down stairs worn through melancholy before pulling her back to reality.

She supposed she should be grateful it didn't fully reveal to her what that meant until much, much later.

"Everyone dies,  Aerith ," her mother had whispered to her once in the stale air room they were kept in at  Shinra . "To return to the Lifestream is nothing to be scared of," she assured. Looking back on it now,  Aerith wonders if her mother had already discerned the fate of her daughter, cut as short as hers was to be.

(Zack's death echoed inside her for days, the bright light she had come to embrace fading amongst the cacophony of voices in the Lifestream.)

The aftermath of Zack's return to the Lifestream opened a deluge of visions.  Aerith had never seen them before but it felt like so much was unlocked that was already slumbering within. The Whispers had haunted her since she could remember but she couldn't tell what it was that they were draining from her every time they touched her; all she knew was that it left her barren and despondent.

For so long she had been adrift- people were drawn to her, a connection that  Aerith surmised was due to her bond with the Planet. She soon realized how different she was from everyone else and the isolation fostered depression. The motions of everything left her feeling hollow and everyday thoughts of what awaited her plunged her into despair. When Zack dropped down into the church, she had begun to understand that the fear of the unknown could be abated not only by the moments she spent growing her flowers with the Planet, but by her connections with others.

When she learned of Cloud, she could not help but feel for him. He had (will) endure so much, torn apart by his love for  Tifa and Zack (and her.) Little by little, the others  unraveled for her too:  Yuffie , Barret, Red XIII, Cid,  Cait , Vincent.  Tifa . How they connected to Cloud and her, snippets of their soon-to-come adventures.

The terror and stains that were Sephiroth and Jenova, the infection they sowed. How her flowers endured and flourished even when their poison seeped through the Planet.

At first it was overwhelming, then infuriating.  Aerith tried to leave  Midgar but a blockade of Whispers barred her way (or was it only that? That terrifying, looming freedom tried to beckon but Aerith would return to the flowers and let them drown out that sky.) She was trapped in this maze of destiny, helpless to escape it.

Whispers began taking back those little moments that  Aerith had grown to cherish over the years, leaving only ruin and devastation in their wake. As the day she was to meet Cloud drew nearer,  Aerith swore to herself that she would work hard to  cultivate those moments with everyone and do  everything in her  power to help them.

_ “I’d like to spend more time with you.” _

The memory can’t haunt her if she makes it come true with the others. She can’t move on from the past if she clings to it too tightly- the others are waiting for her. 

And, after all...she loved them (every bit of her future had come back to inspire and bolster her.)

* * *

Fresh off their victory against Hell House, Cloud had insisted they restock their supplies prior to heading back to Madam M’s. They had stopped at a few shops on the way and  Aerith thought they had gotten everything but when she turns around, she finds that her companion was lingering further behind her at one of the many booths lined up around the Wall Market main plaza. The stall had an enormous  Moogle and  Chocobo sign atop it that was still incredibly cute despite the garish coloring.  Aerith stifles a laugh, thinking that Cloud couldn’t resist stopping there because of them. 

The bits of Zack that he presents make her nostalgic, desire to spend more time with Cloud due to this, but she realizes it is unfair. As Cloud scratches the back of his head, furtively looking around,  Aerith thinks that he is more endearing as he is, instead of trying to compare him to Zack.

Aerith draws closer and peers at Cloud, standing stiffly in front of a bin, staring intently at the contents. 

"You collect these?”

Cloud was bashful as he rummaged through the assortment of charms filling the bin. “...Tifa wears these on her gloves.”

Everything about that was adorable,  Aerith internally gushes while Cloud delves back into the bin with renewed determination.

Aerith picks up a beautiful lightning charm. She rolls it between her fingers to see the multi-colored orbs ensconced in it, wondering how the prism of color will look in the sunlight. “You should get her this one! Lightning comes from clouds! What, no thunderous applause?” She gasps, appalled that Cloud wouldn’t laugh at her wit. “We can’t pick out the same one though!”

“ Hmmmm ?” Cloud tilts his head.

“It’s buy-one get-one free! I am going to get her this Bahamut!”  Aerith proclaims and roars, Cloud rewarding her with a laugh through his nose. Whatever, she’ll take it. “Wait, which ones does she have?”

“A  chocobo and a bomb. She’s got the little feathers too,” the ghost of happiness threatens to split Cloud’s lips in two.

“Ah, because she’s a bombshell, right!?”  Aerith mercilessly seizes the opportunity as Cloud ducks his head. “So Bahamut is a great choice because she’s a  MegaFlare of a hottie,” she chortles as Cloud’s blush spreads.

Cloud pretends to scowl and moves away from her, trying to hide what he was picking up from her view.

“Boo,”  Aerith pouts as he remains secretive. “Tell me more about  Tifa ! Oh, I bet you gave the flower to her-I would’ve!” She fist-pumps victoriously as Cloud pointedly turns his head away. “What’s she like?”

“...you’ll find out soon enough,” Cloud grumps.

“Yeah, but what do you like about her?”  Aerith continues to pester and chip away at his disaffected veneer.

“Everything” he mutters lowly that he thinks that  Aerith can’t hear. He straightens, pauses as he holds the charm in his palm. Contemplates in the way that is more Cloud than Zack. “...She’s patient. Intuitive. She’s good at everything she  tries . Kind, to the point where she worries more for others than herself; she should save some for herself. Gets caught up in her head,” he trails off, the affection evident in his tone  threatening to spill the secret.

(That secret, sealed up wish. Tender feelings that no one could ever know.)

“Oh, just like you,”  Aerith bumps his shoulder. “So, was she always cute?”

“C’mon,” Cloud fights through his blush to stomp over to the register.

* * *

Aerith has felt a lot of contradictory emotions since she finally met Cloud, knowing that the journey and the end were beginning. She felt compelled to run, but an overwhelming sense of desiring to be present and cherish what time she had fought that urge at every moment. 

The fear would crop up  innocuously , such as when she was waiting for Cloud to show up in the  alleyways of Sector 5 as he (tried) to steal away from her house in the middle of the night. There was a forest surrounding the  crumbling ruins of a  buried temple , trees and running, because that’s what she did best.

Zack had taught her a lot about being present and helped ground her so much, but the Whispers kept stealing these things (him, them) from her, leaving her resentful and depressed once more.

She doesn’t want to keep getting caught up in her own fallacies but some things were so familiar that it felt safer to do nothing at all or run away.

Aerith realizes that all the fun she has with Cloud in the day they’ve spent together has bolstered her in ways that felt like turning to the next page in a favorite novel. Perhaps she could take a page out of Zack’s novel and try running towards the future instead of away from it.

( She doesn’t want it to end in that place though, it can’t, she won’t, she needs to...)

If she looked at it as turning the pages to more memories with her friends that would be good, she can convince herself of that because it’s true. There are so many moments to come to experience for herself and plant those roots and watch them grow, because that’s always something she’s never ran from. 

It turns out that keeping her secrets and enthusiasm in check became harder by the moment, for when she first looks at  Tifa upon waking in  Corneo’s creepy perv dungeon, she cannot help her racing heart.

Tifa tilts her head to turn her concerned gaze upon  Aerith , half-moon earrings falling to the side to caress her jaw, eyes indescribably gentle even in the dim lighting of this wretched place. Everything about her draws  Aerith in and yes, Cloud’s answer about liking everything about  Tifa makes sense.

She does manage to hold herself back from throwing herself into  Tifa’s arms but  Tifa is still taken aback by both the forwardness of  Aerith’s inquiry into her well-being and enthusiasm to meet her.  Aerith is content to let things play out and gets a real kick out of working together with  Tifa , mopping up all the lewd goons. Things click with her just as easily as they did with Cloud and she finds she is delighted when  Tifa opens up her reserved nature for a little fun.

Aerith takes her time changing out of her dress on their way to meet up with Cloud, knowing Leslie is outside of the door to take care of any  mooks trying to come in. “I’m a little sad to say bye to this dress,” she sighs and runs her fingers along the material of her knock-out dress that she laid upon her new favorite chair and manages not to shed a tear. 

“You looked gorgeous,”  Tifa supplies instantly and squeaks a little as  Aerith whirls to face her, blushing to the tips of her ears.

“Don’t think I’ve gotten such a compliment from a  prettier lady,”  Aerith gushes while  Tifa fidgets and starts inching towards the door. “C’mon, let’s go save Cloud!” She trails her fingers along  Tifa’s forearm guard and tugs a little, seeing  Tifa start to smile slightly.

* * *

Tifa’s busy reading the instructions for the pump so  Aerith seizes the opportunity to sidle up to Cloud. “Hey, when are we going to give  Tifa her presents?”

Cloud startles and leans back. “Why are you whispering?”

“Everything ok?”  Tifa pauses and turns around.

Aerith smiles at the concern, eyelashes fluttering which causes  Tifa to awkwardly clear her throat.  Tifa was so easily flustered, ever since  Aerith’s enthusiastic greeting in the dungeons where she almost showed her hand (again.) “I can’t keep it a secret anymore,” she presses a hand to her cheek to ramp up the drama. “Cloud! Show her!”

Cloud gets a vacant look on his face. “Show her what?”

“Our presents!”  Aerith stomps her foot. 

If she could get Cloud to give her a high-five, she surely could teach him how to get closer to  Tifa . Remind  him who he really is (and isn’t.)

“You got me presents?”  Tifa echoes  faintly , a darling look of surprise on her face. She and Cloud both start blushing and  Aerith is content to let them stew in it until she really can’t contain her excitement. She elbows Cloud to make him go first.

Clearing his throat, Cloud reaches into his pocket and extends his hand stiffly towards  Tifa . “...saw it and thought of you,” he mumbles shyly. 

Tifa is absolutely delighted as she peers down at the charm in his outstretched palm. “A  moogle charm!? How did you know!” She gingerly picks up the charm and goes about adding it to her right bracelet, the sweetest smile in place.

Aerith grins as she watches  Tifa admire the charm as Cloud gives her the softest of gazes.

“Thank you, Cloud!”  Tifa says, genuine happiness  crinkling her eyes, anxiety over Sector 7 temporarily subdued once more. She’s so beautiful,  Aerith thinks fleetingly.

“I got you one, too,”  Aerith bursts out, exultant, eager to add to  Tifa’s good mood. She uncurls her fingers as  Tifa reaches for the charm—she can’t resist saying: “A pretty charm for a pretty lady.”

“Th-thank you...?”  Tifa is surprisingly befuddled by the compliment.  Aerith thinks that perhaps  Tifa ought to be hearing these kinds of things more often from the people that matter.

(And she desperately wants to be one of those people, a thought which takes her aback in its fervor.)

“Hey,  Aerith , come with me,”  Tifa beckons, snapping  Aerith out of her reverie. “Don’t worry Cloud, we got this,” she winks and gestures towards  Aerith , who bounds right after her.

“Now that I’ve finally got you alone again,”  Aerith starts teasing right out of the gate, giggling when  Tifa stumbles a little. “Cloud says you have a bar. When I come to visit you, can I get something to eat, too? It’s a long trek from Sector 5,” she questions and flutters her eyelashes again while  Tifa inspects the wastewater pump.

“Hmmm,” she replies, distracted. “Usually serve eggs and chips.”

Aerith giggles at the combination, but mostly at her impending display of wit. “Would you say that you run a Whisky business, then?”

Tifa is in the process of reaching down to lift the cover off the pump but winds up having her grip falter and she collapses a little against the covering.

“You’re not the first to fall for my charms,”  Aerith compliments herself to help  Tifa overcome her  embarrassment . Truly, she and Cloud were such a pair.

Tifa manages to right herself and removes the cover in short order, relaying the instructions clearly to  Aerith , who opens up the wastewater valve. “Here we go,”  Tifa says and furiously pumps the lever to fill the machine with pressure.

Aerith is so enamored by  Tifa’s display of physical prowess, she doesn’t even bother trying to  push down on her lever to close the valve. 

“Please pay attention,”  Tifa says,  beleaguered .

“Not my fault you’re more interesting than some dumb needle,”  Aerith pouts anyway. “We can switch places! I’m pretty strong, too!” She musters all her strength to flex her arms.

Tifa rewards her with a  giggle and  Aerith continues to pose, galvanized by the response. “Well, I suppose not even you can flex and talk at the same time.”

“Rude!”  Aerith squeaks. “You wish you could get on my level!”

“Maybe if you manage to get this right on your first try, I could be persuaded otherwise,”  Tifa slyly challenges.

“I see what you’re trying to do, and I take offense,”  Aerith readies herself nonetheless, unable to resist, opening the valve.  Tifa fills the pump with pressure and  Aerith , to her credit, did not stare at anything other than the needle and was able to get it in the red zone straight away. Her victory cheer was cut short as  Tifa shook her head.

“Looks like we need to do this a couple more times.”

“Reward first!”  Aerith huffs, placing her hands on her hips.

“Wouldn’t you want a bigger reward once we’re all done?”  Tifa wheedles, a finger to her chin.

“I want a hug to seal the deal, now get pumping,”  Aerith nearly screeches in her enthusiasm. 

Tifa is sure to cheer  Aerith on for each consecutive success and  Aerith truly relishes this feeling. Her Reunion (of sorts) with Cloud and  Tifa has filled her with a joy she hasn’t felt since Zack. Her excitement for more time spent with them occludes the despair of what is to come.

“Well?”  Tifa’s teasing scold holds no bite and snaps  Aerith out of her thoughts. Her hands are on her hips and she looks a little nervous.  Tifa is used to comforting touches and battle support, but not choreographed affection, much like Cloud.

(He will reach for  Tifa’s hand and take it,  Aerith knows this.)

Aerith smiles to help ease  Tifa’s nerves. “You don’t have to hug me if you don’t want to,” she assures.

“I promised,”  Tifa nods, solemn, and  Aerith melts at how serious she is. Promises are so important to  Tifa , who keeps her word, is always there in a pinch.

“Alright, pick me up and twirl me, then!”  Aerith laughs harder as  Tifa giggles at the request and launches herself into  Tifa’s arms.

Tifa obliges and her arms around  Aerith’s waist are strong and sure. When she stops the twirl, she pulls back enough that her hands continue to ghost the sides of  Aerith’s hips, who brings her arms from around  Tifa’s neck to toy with her suspenders.

There’s something in the Lifestream that calls to her as she looks into  Tifa’s warm eyes, as they track down her cheekbones. The intimacy of the moment slices through  Aerith’s mind and she draws back quickly. 

Tifa looks a little crest-fallen at the abruptness and  Aerith chides herself, scrambles to recover. “First one there gets to pull the lever,” she taunts and feels immense relief as the troubled expression lifts from Tifa’s face.

* * *

They’ve arrived at Sector 7 after their harrowing experience in the Train Graveyard. She feels for  Tifa and Cloud, knowing what is to come for their friends and home.

(A return to the tragedy they had escaped from all those years ago.)

Marlene was waiting for them at Seventh Heaven, and remembers  Tifa’s request to save her and the subsequent guilt  Tifa carries within herself from it, amplified by her multiple concerns about  Aerith getting involved and being brought into danger from  Corneo’s dungeon.  Aerith wishes she could tell  Tifa right now that she’s happy to do this for her and Barret. That Marlene inherits so much from the Planet and  Aerith .

(That she would do anything for this family.)

Aerith still feels unsettled from the nightmare she was trapped in and tries to remember Cloud and  Tifa being so brave in the face of  Eligor to come rescue her. Recollects how warm she felt knowing that Cloud came to protect her and the weight of  Tifa’s hand on her shoulder, the relief to hear her voice. Their gentle, anxious hearts coming together in a unity that had the sadness and gloom  Aerith had carried inside her for years banishing under that touch and the light she brought with her, a perfect conclusion to Cloud’s initial rescue.

(The light that  Tifa carries reminds her so much of Zack, their suns so similar but bringing their own unique warmth to  Aerith’s heart. It fills her with terror that  Tifa could be ripped from her too.)

The Whispers had convened to slow their advance as they entered the train station, and  Aerith is blasting away at them when they suddenly stop swarming her and convene on their new target. Her throat closes, chills erupting all over.

“ Tifa !” Cloud screams, manic slashes of his sword bearing down upon the tornado of Whispers that had engulfed her. In the face of Cloud's fury, it is easy to see how Sephiroth harming  Tifa had been the final stroke in the beginning of his downfall.

_ Don’t you take her too, _ tears through  Aerith’s mind but her jaw is frozen in fear. Her ribbon feels hot on the back of her head and through her rage,  Ifrit is summoned. He joins Cloud in a swath of destruction to tear the Whispers from  Tifa .

Cloud finally breaks through, and  Aerith is there to wrap her arms around  Tifa as she falls from the embrace of the Whispers and feels the muscles under her touch relax.  Tifa pulls her head back and when they lock eyes, appears to see deep inside  Aerith and it unnerves her. “I’m here,”  Aerith says softly as  Tifa brings the back of her hand to ghost under  Aerith’s eye, right along the cheekbone. The touch was barely there but the intimacy of the gesture has  Aerith quavering her words-- “I’m here.”

(She wants to run so badly.)

“Ok,”  Tifa breathes and tenses under her  touch to break free of it to convene at Cloud’s side. They both loosen their posture as they fall back in sync with each other. The relief on Cloud’s face warms  Aerith’s heart and she can finally renew her magical barrage on the Whispers.

* * *

Aerith was waiting for Cloud to slumber once more so that she could speak with him. The flowers comfort her in the moonlight, the cool petals under her fingers banishing the wretched memories of  Hojo and her room in Shinra. 

She startles when she hears  Tifa call to her. “I thought you were asleep,” she says gently. She can feel the despair clinging to  Tifa like a scarf around her neck and chest. The flowers had just finished telling her what had transpired between Tifa and Cloud.

(She was so proud of Cloud, his heart unlocking and finally reaching out to  Tifa . How she longed to ease their suffering and to avoid going to  Nibelheim and what awaits them there.

“This is a dream,”  Tifa states as she crouches down next to  Aerith , hand reaching out to brush against hers.

“I guess,”  Aerith replies, committing to memory how  Tifa looks in this light, surrounded by her flowers, years of her toil and love blossoming between them.

Tifa idly draws her fingertips across the flower petals in front of her, breathing slow and  Aerith wishes  Tifa could hear the flowers call to her, too. “I’m sorry,” she says as she goes to sit down fully.”

“For what?”

Shaking her head, Tifa reaches for Aerith’s hand, draws abstract shapes on her palm. Bolder in her dreams, perhaps, thinking that this was just a figment of her imagination. “You were taken because of me. Back to a place of pain.”

“Oh,  Tifa ,”  Aerith sighs, leans against her shoulder. “ Shinra was always going to bring me back there. This way I could help you and Barret. Marlene is adorable,” she smiles softly as  Tifa’s cheeks rose and she reciprocates. “I saw my flower,” she whispers. “Thank you for taking care of it.”

“You’re beautiful,” Tifa blurts and her face flares. “I mean, you’re welcome and the flower is beautiful!” She protests during Aerith’s laughter.

“Too late, I’ve taken that compliment,”  Aerith teases and grips Tifa’s hand tighter when she tries to pull away. “Mine now!”

“Alright,” Tifa mumbles and looks upwards. “You’ve never been outside Midgar, right?”

“Yeah.”

Tifa smiles slowly and turns to look at  Aerith and her breath catches in her throat. “I  wanna show you so much. We’re going to get you out of there, ok?”  Aerith whispers her assent as  Tifa’s eyes start to droop. “Don’t be scared,”  Tifa murmurs as sleep starts to take her again.

“ _ But that’s alright. As long as I’m with you...As long as you’re by my side... I won’t give up even if I’m scared.” _

Unbidden,  Tifa’s voice echoes in the Lifestream, her promise with Cloud enveloping the sky. How their hearts have reached for each other tonight, and how their future yearns backwards to this moment.

Aerith wraps her arms around  Tifa as she curls into her lap, strokes her hair idly as their connection begins to fade. “Sweet dreams, Tifa,” and she imagines kissing the words into Tifa’s skin.

The footfalls of Cloud grow and  Aerith resumes tending the flowers.

* * *

The weight in  Aerith’s chest returns with a presence of shame as she leads the group back to her room in the laboratory section of Shinra. Memories bubble to the surface and leave an acrid taste in her mouth that beckons vomit. Everything here reinforces her isolation, that she isn’t normal (like her friends.)

_ “Normal is over-rated.” _

Aerith takes a breath as Zack’s voice rings clear in her head. 

(She had almost forgotten what it sounded like.)

Barret clears his throat to alert Aerith to his presence as he walks a little closer to her. “That bastard kept you and your mom here, huh.” He frowns deeply, searching for the words to say. “...You sure you  wanna use that room? Cloud’s unconscious so it won’t matter which room he lays his spiky head in.”

Grateful for the attempt at levity,  Aerith looks up to him and smiles. “Thanks. I think it’ll be...” the words catch in her throat and Barret lays a hand on her shoulder, grounds her. “...you all will be there.” She takes a big breath and nods, feels Barret squeeze her shoulder and continues to lead them down the corridor to her room.

“Here we are,” she injects more false cheer in her voice as she opens the door to the room. She keeps her eyes trained on everyone else to avoid looking into the room.

Hojo did indeed keep it exactly as she and her mother had left it.

(Feels the rage recalling  Hojo’s filthy words about her mother and the desecration he’s done to her. That vile man and the ruin he brings to everything he touches.)

“ Aerith ,”  Tifa’s voice cuts through the haze in  Aerith’s head. She sees that they are the only two standing outside of the room.  Tifa reaches out to cup  Aerith’s elbow and pulls  Aerith into her arms.

“Oh,”  Aerith breathes out as she folds into the embrace.

“We’re here,”  Tifa whispers into her hair, fingers rubbing circles into her back. 

The hum of the  Shinra building was familiar white noise, but as  Tifa held her close,  Aerith felt her heartbeat slow and the Planet reach out to her in a way she wasn’t used to experiencing inside the building.

(She thought she could stay like this, always.)

* * *

Aerith blows some sticky hair out of her face. “Tifa, what’s wrong? Are you ok?”

Tifa startles, lost in her thoughts. “Oh, I was just worried about Cloud—doesn't he seem to be acting weird?”

Scoffing,  Aerith walks in front of where  Tifa stands. “Cloud’s always weird,” she flops her hand to emphasize her point. “I’m actually more worried about you,” she enunciates by leaning toward Tifa to catch her eyes.

“Oh!”  Tifa’s shoulders jump as she gets flustered by the intrusion into her personal space. “I-I’m ok!”

“C’mon,”  Aerith wheedles, hoping to distract  Tifa further away from her morose thoughts. “You  gotta worry about yourself sometimes, you know?”

When  Tifa finally lets a little smile grow on her face,  Aerith answers with her own. She wasn’t prepared for  Tifa to reach forward and brush the hair out of her face and say in the gentlest of tones, “That’s what I’ve got you for, isn’t it?”

_ Oh no _ ,  Aerith mentally stutters as  Tifa moves around her to call Cloud via the PHS. “Not fair!”

Aerith continues to pout while she waits on the bench as  Tifa and Cloud relay the plan to each other and manages to hold her frown as  Tifa returns.

“Cloud thinks they can get the door to the ward open for us,”  Tifa stretches before she joins  Aerith on the bench.

“Alright,”  Aerith’s frown disappears as  Tifa bumps her shoulder. “Let’s leave it to the boys! You won’t mind if I use you as a pillow, right?” She doesn’t wait for an answer and wraps her arms around  Tifa’s shoulder.

Tifa laughs softly in that breathy way that excites  Aerith . “...I’m actually jealous of you,”  Tifa admits softly and  Aerith sits up straight and moves her hands down to lay on  Tifa’s forearm. “You always seem to know what to say and it just seems so easy for you to, I don’t know,  _ connect _ with people. With Cloud,” she mutters. “I just feel there’s this huge wall between us and that I could say the wrong thing and everything will crumble.”

“I don’t know if I’ve really connected with  _ Cloud _ ,”  Aerith says at length. “It’s like there’s this fog around him, and I can only catch glimpses of him.”  Tifa looks away at this and  Aerith has to fight the instinct to reach for her, settles for squeezing  Tifa’s forearm. “You’re so careful about everything you say and do,  Tifa . You’ll find a way over that wall,” she smiles and attempts humor. “Better than me, when I just bulldoze away! Everything would crumble!”  Tifa lets out a little laugh and turns back to face Aerith.

“You know...”  Aerith hedges, scooting closer that she’s practically in  Tifa’s lap, and drops her voice. “...it took me  _ ages _ to get Cloud to give me a high-five. You have no idea how happy I was when you gave me that double high-five tonight,” she takes her hands off  Tifa and places them to her cheeks to play up the drama.

“For real?”  Tifa stage whispers back, incredulous.

“ Mmmm ,”  Aerith nods. “But,” she draws out, “you and I were in sync right away,” she smiles and bumps  Tifa’s shoulder, placing her hands on her lap. “...So I wouldn’t say that you can’t connect with people.”

Tifa looks pleased at this.  Aerith stops herself from letting the wistful sigh  creeping up from her heart come out. “You’ll connect with Cloud when it really counts, don’t give up.”

“Ok,” Tifa nods shyly and moves her pinky finger to lock with Aerith’s before turning her head away quickly.

_ So adorable _ ,  Aerith internally gushed.

Tifa moves her  hand away to fiddle with the charms on her wrists, an action to brace herself for saying something—she was always so conscientious about what she says, even during moments like these. It never fails to endear her to  Aerith . “Uhm, what does the Planet tell you about me?”

Aerith can’t help but sigh a little at  Tifa’s bashful query. “Nothing I don’t already know,” she smiles as  Tifa tilts her head, perplexed. “It’s actually more of a feeling.”

“A feeling?” Tifa echoes.

“ Mmm ,”  Aerith nods. “How to explain it...” She fiddles with her bangles and the slotted Materia in them warm instantly. “Oh!” Aerith reaches for Tifa’s hands. “Take your gloves off!”

Tifa throws her a skeptical look but complies, and  Aerith pulls  Tifa’s hands to her bangles. “Feel that?” She murmurs as she summons the latent Fire Materia to attention.

“Uhm, really warm? I can see it lighting up...?” Tifa starts guessing as she draws her hands away but stops as Aerith grabs them.

“I told you I didn’t know how to explain,”  Aerith chuckles lightly. “It’s just... _ safe. _ Calm and quiet. Like everything will be alright. There’s just this...this  _ light _ coming from you. I felt it so strongly in the Train Graveyard and when you pulled me away from the Whispers...that I...” she trails off, overcome.

Blushing, Tifa looks down to their hands. “I didn’t want them to take any more from you.” She tightens her grip and Aerith moves her thumbs back and forth to help assuage Tifa’s anxiousness. “I...Shinra has taken so much from me. I... I _can’t_ let them take you, too.”

Aerith feels the tears start to build in her eyes at  Tifa’s declaration. “Tifa...”

“I know it’s strange,”  Tifa turns away and her hair falls, shielding her face. “I mean, I only just met you, but It's like I. .. have all of this inside me...”

Aerith brushes the hair out of  Tifa’s face. The Planet never told her about this. Around  Tifa , there was a different wave of emotions from those that swirled about Cloud. The guilt, sadness and fury were there, but it was like they were in a place she couldn’t reach.  Tifa and Cloud both had this gentle nature about them that  sometimes... needed coaxing: at times intimacy made them afraid and what consequences would befall them if they didn’t monitor their actions carefully. How they carried their pain though...

Cloud and  Aerith struggled to find their way often and  Tifa just...did it. She put her mind to something and that was it. Perhaps that was why  Tifa could cut through the Whispers while  Aerith and Cloud were caught up in their own doubts and fears.  Aerith could only think of the time that Zack crashed through the church roof that had shocked her this much.

She kept turning it over and over in her head,  Tifa reaching for her and pulling her out of the maze of despair and loneliness from the Whispers.

Aerith hadn’t planned on how precious  Tifa was to become to her.

Perhaps this wasn’t something that was forgotten or stolen by the Whispers but something discovered.

The more time she spends with Tifa, the easier it is to sequester these feelings inside, and let them gradually filter out in her smiles and fleeting touches.

(She thinks Cloud had it right. Lock the feelings for her in your heart.)

* * *

_I felt you die_ , Aerith cries out in her head. _Zack, are you out there?_ She can’t shake the vision she saw mere hours ago nor the deluge of feelings that came with it. It was like she could feel his presence, but it wasn’t the same as she had remembered. More like a mirror of the feeling, as if he wasn’t the Zack _she_ knew.

Cloud had seemed a little more closed off than usual since that moment and  Tifa had picked up on it immediately, splitting her time between Aerith and Cloud to help support them.

It was endlessly endearing.

They had been walking on and off for hours as they had left  Midgar , Cloud mentioning there was a small village they could get to on foot before nightfall.  Aerith wasn’t as cut for endurance as the rest of them were so she felt a little guilty having to take such frequent refresh moments.

And hungry. She was  _ so hungry. _

Barret waves exuberantly to  Aerith from where he was standing further up the little hill in front of them-- “C’mon  Aerith , I’ll show you the view from up top!” He guffaws as she races up to him and launches herself into his arms to be hoisted atop his shoulders. 

“You can see  forever !”  Aerith gushes, hand coming to rest against her eyebrows.

“Careful you two don’t fall,” Red XIII quips from Barret’s side. “I’ve seen how you  land .”

Before Barret and  Aerith can defend their honor, Cloud chimes in: “Yeah,  Tifa , how many times did we have to catch Aerith?”

“Too many to count,”  Tifa lays a hand to her cheek, eyes closed.

“How could you hurt me this way!” Aerith yells.

“And we won’t even talk about Barret,” Cloud ribs.

“Yeah, well, your bony ass can’t take a fall, that’s why!” Barret shakes his gun arm at Cloud while  Aerith vicariously cheers him on.

“Please don’t encourage this,”  Tifa tries to interject before things get out of hand.

“Too late,” Aerith huffs. “Gloves are of!”

“Don’t listen to them,  Aerith , they’ll eat their words soon enough,” Barret vows.

“Yeah! Yeah, check this out!”  Aerith boasts as she pushes off Barret’s shoulder. She unfortunately does  _ not _ stick the landing as intended and stumbles a little into Red XIII, steadying her hands on his back.

“Top form,” his reply rumbles underneath her hands like a giant purr.

“You guys are meanies,” turning away,  Aerith grabs Barret’s hand. “C’mon, Barret, let’s go scout ahead! I’m the navigator because I saw so far ahead from your vantage point.”

“Or you could just remember the directions I told you,” Cloud supplies wearily as  Tifa giggles and bumps shoulders with him. 

Aerith jogs a little to catch up to Red who has gone a little ahead of the group. “How does it feel to be out here again?”

_ (Don’t look at the sky, don’t look at the sky) _

His tail swishes against her dress and he lays back on his haunches. “...the air doesn’t reek out here.”

“Depends on where you go sniffing,” she says and he shifts his head to look up at her. “It’s my first time out of the city so I’ll be counting on you!”

“Are you nervous?” He asks.  Aerith notices how he relaxes in the warmth of the setting sun and it feels her with joy.

“It’s a lot to take in,” she replies, scuffing the toe of her boot against the dirt.

“Sometimes when I felt overwhelmed back at home I would go sit outside and close my eyes, feel the sun set, listen to the world and let my thoughts go down with the sun.” He cranes his head up to the sky. “Didn’t always work, but it was good to get away. Leave things behind, even for a little bit.”

Aerith grins. “Yeah, I get it. Thanks, Red.”

His assent rumbles in his chest. “What do you think they’re scheming about?” They turn in tandem to peer at Cloud,  Tifa and Barret huddled together, looking a little too serious.

“I don’t know. But it’s definitely suspicious,”  Aerith crosses her arms and sticks her tongue out at them.

Tifa notices first, eyebrows raising, and looks to issue her final order before breaking free of the group and jogging up to Aerith, who decides that Tifa ought to chase her a little bit.

“Why are you running?”  Tifa calls out as she quickly overtakes  Aerith and turns around, jogging backwards a little.

“So cool,”  Aerith giggles, breathless. She summons the will to bound up to where the other woman had stopped in her tracks. “I’m glad Cloud gave you my flower,” she winks as she grabs  Tifa’s arm. “But I thought I’d give you this one myself,” she says and curls  Tifa’s hair behind her ear and pins the flower she had tucked away in her jacket behind it. “Cute,” she mutters while Tifa blushes.

“Thank you,”  Tifa murmurs. “Where did you even find this?”

“Might have had it in my jacket,”  Aerith replies, coy. 

Tifa’s brows shoot up. “You’re telling me the flower survived everything that happened since you were last home?”

“They’re very resilient!”  Aerith places her hands on her hips. “What kind of flower vendor would I be if I couldn’t peddle my wares at all times!”

Chuckling,  Tifa reaches up to touch the petals caressing her hair. “Alright then, keep your secrets.”

Aerith turns her nose up in the air, triumphant. “Thank you.”

“Your garden was gorgeous, by the way,”  Tifa looks up at  Aerith , peeking under those long eyelashes and  Aerith melts. “I can’t believe how all the flowers grew in a place like Midgar. You’ll have to show me around when we get back.”

“Another date then!”  Aerith exclaims to  Tifa’s bashful smile. “We’re going to have to move our other one up, I don’t think I can wait that long,” she pouts.

“I’ll consider it,” Tifa says sweetly.

Aerith clasps her hands together and so much happened in the time it took her to take a breath.  Tifa grabs her forearm and pulls  Aerith to her tightly—she turns while this happens to see Cloud  collapsing on his knees, Red’s fur standing straight up, Barret pointing his gun at the sky, shouting “Where is he!?”

“Guys, are you alright...?”  Aerith trails off as she feels  Tifa start to tremble. “What’s wrong?”

“I. .. I felt frightened,” Barret says stiltedly. “Like someone was going to tear you from us.”

“I felt it too, this overwhelming sadness,” Red says from behind  Aerith , his tail wrapping around her shins. “Is this some kind of after-effect from the Whispers and Sephiroth?”

Aerith couldn’t tell  them ; if she looked, she would crumble, so she hid her face in  Tifa’s shoulder. “Maybe.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter,” Cloud’s voice is strained. “We should try to get some shelter for the night. The hotel isn’t too far from here. We...could use some rest.”

“I’m hungry,”  Aerith whines into  Tifa’s skin and elicits a laugh for her complaint. She draws away from  Tifa slowly to bring her other hand over where  Tifa had crushed it to her chest. “See? I’m still here,” she murmurs when  Tifa’s eyes turn gentle.

The time to run away will come later.

(She’s not sure she has it in her when  Tifa smiles at her like this.)

* * *

“But it’s time for bed,”  Aerith yawns. They all had stumbled into the quaint bed and breakfast and filled themselves up on such good food that it had made  Aerith miss her mother terribly. Marlene was with her at least.

Cloud had knocked on the bedroom door, rousing  Aerith from her pre-bedtime nap that she had collapsed into straight after finishing dinner.

“C’mon,  Tifa’s got a surprise for you,” Cloud tells her, his eyes softening as they did when talking about Tifa.

“Well then!”  Aerith prances to his side, energy returning. “We  gotta go!”

When Cloud opens the hotel door to lead them outside,  Aerith feels thrilled immediately to see everyone sitting around the hotel’s bonfire. Barret starts waving her over enthusiastically. 

“I got a story for you! It’s one of Marlene’s favorites,” he fondly informs her as he scoots over on the bench to make room for her. As soon as she sits down,  Tifa appears and drapes a blanket around her shoulders, giving them a quick rub as she moves across the way to join Cloud on the opposite bench.

Red curls down on the ground next to Aerith’s feet and looks up at Barret. “What kind of story is it?”

“A love  story !”  Tifa chirps.

“It’s not Loveless, is it?” Cloud folds his arms with a pointed look at Barret.

“What kind of stories you thinking I’m  tellin ’ my little girl!” Barret shakes his fist at Cloud and  Tifa jumps in to mediate. It was so amusing,  Aerith chuckles to herself.

“It’s about these three kids who are best friends and their journey across the world,”  Tifa supplies. “They get separated but they now they are always connected by their hearts and look up at the sky to know they are all part of it,” she keeps going, clearly invested in the story.

“Yeah and they look to the constellations too!” Barret chimes in and grabs  Aerith’s attention. “Look up here! Doesn’t that one look like a Cactuar?!”

Aerith tries to follow his line of sight. She squints and leans toward him to get the right angle. Barret starts to draw out the  Cactuar shape when she looks in the right spot. “Wow! It really does form a  Cactuar ! Why did they look up to a Cactuar though?”

“There’re lots of constellations they liked to look at, not just the almighty Cactuar,” he laughs.

“We used to look at the  constellations back home,”  Tifa says and looks to Cloud. “What was your favorite again?”

“... Chocobo ,” Cloud replies at length and points to  Tifa’s left. “Wasn’t yours the Moogle?”

“ Kupoooooo ,” Red laughs.

Aerith isn't sure how much time passes as they went around pointing out various constellations and talking about the story of the three kind-hearted children.  Tifa starts humming a song she says that Marlene and her had come up with for one of the books in the series. Barret joins her and Red even started wagging his tail in time to the music. 

It was then that  Aerith realizes she has been looking up to the stars and the sky without any fear or worries of what would descend from them and how it stretched on forever.

“ _ I have an idea! One day, I’ll take you to see a beautiful sky, the real sky. It’s not frightening at all. I know you’re  _ _ gonna _ _ love it.” _

Zack’s words come back to her in this moment and  Aerith feels tears start to form in her eyes. She is overcome with ardor as she looks towards her friends. Barret is regaling Red with stories of  Avalanche and  Tifa is laughing so hard, she places an arm on Cloud. Cloud’s shoulders are relaxed and his head is turned slightly; he has forgotten to pretend and is staring dreamily at  Tifa .

Aerith is compelled to join him.

* * *

It shouldn’t surprise  Tifa that she dreams of the events of the past few days. A lot has been weighing on her mind and preys upon it during her slumber. Whispers had engulfed her, a cacophony of blurred images and muffled voices assaulting her senses.

Tifa thinks she hears her own voice become clearer, an anger lacing the words that make her sick:

_ “This is your fault! You’ve taken everything from us. Everything we suffered, what was it for...?”  _ The voice trails off into abject anguish.  _ “Can you save--”  _ the voice is abruptly silenced as more Whispers rush  Tifa . It is suffocating and her limbs are frozen, panic gasping out in her breaths.

She tries to rouse herself from sleep, wonders  how her mind still succumbs to this.

The billowy Whispers continue to ensconce her between them; the mental assault of a barrage of images and feelings intensifies and clears. She sees her friends become enveloped and disappear into the robes of Whispers until all she can see is Cloud, his knees up to his chest. There’s a sickly green mist that starts to wrap around him that gets brighter until it swarms him and transforms into the haunted eyes of Sephiroth.

(Fire and pain, only pain, the ice-hot steel of a sword searing across her chest.)

She hears Cloud scream her name and Sephiroth’s terrifying green morphs into  Aerith’s warm, deep emerald and suddenly  Tifa is overcome with an echo of a caress wrapped in words she never said and wilted flowers.

“I’m here,” she hears  Aerith say as the air is knocked out of her and she experiences the sensation of falling from the tornado she was trapped in--a fall that seems eerily like a far-off memory.

_ Cloud? _

Tifa bolts awake finally, fingers grasping at the scar. Terror suffuses her senses and she  makes a conscious effort to reduce her hyper-ventilating. She can still taste the mint of her toothpaste; she hears the curtains flapping against the open window; feels the soft jersey feel of her pajamas, beginning to dampen from her sweat; she looks around to see the moonlight streaming from the window splintering across Aerith’s prone form on the bed next to her.

She counts 30 seconds as she watches  Aerith intently, making sure she is breathing, calming down with each  breath she monitors.

(Some part locked deep inside vainly yearns for  Aerith to open her eyes, like seeing them focus on her will chase away the latent fear of Sephiroth and a sword burning its icy swath through her skin.)

It feels like there’s another voice in her head, bouncing thoughts and feelings inside like a ball in the packed Sector 7 slums playground. Guilt feels tertiary now, anger at  Shinra more easily rising to the forte with all the nightmare of Sephiroth still curling around the edges of her vision.  Tifa replays every savage blow administered to Sephiroth when she came to join Cloud—he was in a pinch and they had  _ promised. _

Tifa lays back down and stares at the ceiling, going over her forms and what she could improve upon. The focus helps her even her breathing even more; she’s not quite sure if she fell into one of those half-sleep states but she’s hearing birds start chirping and the light diffused on the blankets covering  Aerith have taken on the warm glow of daybreak.

Idly,  Tifa tracks the details of one of the softest moments she’s had in days. The knowledge that they are setting out on a perilous journey that’s already been haunted by Cloud’s headaches and Sephiroth’s looming form causes her to cherish this serenity.

(How many quiet moments have brought despair in their wake? The mechanical hissing of the pumps in  Nibelheim , the muted sounds of gun shots as Jessie quietly smiled as Cloud brought up the promise of pizza.)

She musters memories of Marlene laughing at some silly story she was relaying to Tifa, sitting on Biggs’ lap, Wedge and Jessie’s over-zealous re-enactments of Marlene’s story, Barret already falling off the bar stool from laughing so hard.

Cloud, heading to Leaf House solemnly after departing from Elmyra, the stiffness in his shoulders abating as the children crowd up to him, cardboard swords strapped to their backs. Him inquiring quietly after Biggs and the three of them standing around in the classroom as stories were relayed to them.

Barret and Cloud trying to coax a cat off the roof in Wall Market that Betty had brought them to and how they all danced together after. Hearing Betty tell them about the nice lady that smelled like flowers who had carried her to her daddy; hand on Barret’s knee, inquiring after Marlene.

Andrea and Jules challenging  Tifa to all those pull-ups, fueling her drive and helping the tension release with each  repetition .

Aerith jumping into her arms in the sewers and holding her tight, all her efforts there and in the Train Graveyard through Sector 7 to help support and calm  Tifa’s anxieties. 

There was something infinitely calming as these moments suffused her mind.  Tifa follows the stretch of  Aerith’s shoulders as she turns in her sleep and startles when  Aerith mumbles her name.

“ Aerith ...? Are you awake?”  Tifa whispers, worried she caused  Aerith to waken. 

“Just because I want to wake up next to you every day doesn’t mean that I want it to be this early,”  Aerith grumbles.

“Ehhhh?”

“ Tifa ,”  Aerith openly weeps as she plants her face back into the pillow- that surely will make everything go away,  Tifa imagines fondly.

“Well, if you’re awake...” she starts to tease.

“ Tifa . Please. Not even you. Can wake me this early,”  Aerith groans. 

“I’ll carry you,”  Tifa coerces and  Aerith instantly raises her head, a grin splitting her face wide. Surprisingly, her voice is more even than she thought it would be, heart shuddering inside her chest.  Aerith had this tendency to smile and laugh in a way that simultaneously thrilled and terrified Tifa.

“I’m kidding about you waking me up,”  Aerith assures  Tifa as she sits up. “Everything sounds different outside of the city. It’s a lot to get used to,” she picks at the comforter absently, eyes still trained on  Tifa’s . Idly,  Tifa wonders if maybe the Planet whispers to  Aerith in her sleep. She recalls how sometimes  Aerith’s observations were a little too keen...

“Don’t leave me hanging!”  Aerith’s petulant declaration refocuses  Tifa and she moves to the other bed,  Aerith’s open arms waving back and forth, face transforming in that mischievous way that  Tifa knew spelt trouble.

(It was captivating and  Tifa couldn’t help herself from wanting to see more.)

“Don’t blame me if I fall asleep in your wonderful arms,”  Aerith flirts immediately upon being picked up.

“Well it’s a good thing we aren’t going far,”  Tifa smirks at  Aerith’s indignant squawk as she sets her down on  Tifa’s bed. “Now you can really see out of the window.”

Aerith levels her with an icy glare. “You’re inviting me to see a sunrise...after keeping me awake all night having fun with everyone!”

“It’s your first one outside of  Midgar !”  Tifa supplies amidst a renewed whine from  Aerith . “Maybe it’s not as breath-taking as it could be from the mountains, but I wanted to make sure you saw the sky as something beautiful too,” she trails off as  Aerith stares intently at her.

“The sky makes you sad,”  Tifa states and scratches her forearm, head turning away, feeling herself start to blush. “We thought that if we could try to give you some good memories, that you wouldn’t have to feel so sad or scared when you think of or see the sky.” She turns back to look  Aerith in the eyes, gentle smile in place. “That sadness will still be there, but in a place the darkness can’t reach.”

Aerith’s eyes glitter in the light and somehow this quiet exchange clears the last dredges of the nightmares from  Tifa’s mind. The latent tightness in  Tifa’s chest unfurls in tandem with  Aerith’s smile blossoming; she opens her arms for  Aerith to settle into. Sometimes it was easier for  Aerith to speak if she wasn’t looking directly at someone.

“Thanks,  Tifa ,”  Aerith’s words permeate into her shirt as she nuzzles into  Tifa’s shoulder. “Although I can’t guarantee I’m going to stay awake in such a sweet embrace.”

Tifa laughs as she brings her other hand around to hold onto  Aerith’s forearms. “You and Cloud aren’t morning people, are you?”

“Bleh,”  Aerith grumbles, eyelashes fluttering as she moves her head up to plant a quick kiss to the underside of  Tifa’s jaw. “I guess some things are worth being awake for.”


End file.
